Let’s get rid of two dangerous myths that harm children far more than they help: the idea that love alone can erase trauma, and the belief that because a child is young, they will naturally grow out of it or are too young to remember. Neither of these is true. They are trauma myths adults tell themselves to feel hopeful and reassured, but they are not rooted in reality. In our case, these beliefs were reinforced by professionals, resulting in systemic gaslighting. I know this because I once believed them myself,

There is a moment that most special guardianship and kinship carers recognise instantly. It is the quiet realisation that life has shifted on its axis. One day you are a grandparent, aunt, uncle, older sibling or family friend. The next you are navigating school runs, trauma responses, social workers, court paperwork and a level of emotional responsibility you never planned for.

I wish someone had told me what life as a kinship carer really looked like before I stepped into it. They don’t. They prepare you with forms, court dates, meetings with social workers, and endless advice about what the law says you can and cannot do. What they don’t tell you is what it feels like in the quiet moments, in the chaos, in the grey areas between love and fear.

I remember the moment the phrase Special Guardianship Order was first said to me. It was like someone had handed me a book in a language I’d never learned but was suddenly expected to speak fluently. I had lived through court hearings, adoption chats, kinship care referrals, late‑night Googling, endless forms, and the very real fear of choosing the wrong path for a child I loved with every fibre of my being. At that time, it felt like every instinct I had was whispering and screaming at the same time.

I want to write this because there was a moment where everything we had worked so hard for almost fell apart, and the reason it did not is because of the ASGSF programme. Without it, I am certain our SGO placement would not have survived. This is not exaggeration. This is our lived reality.

When I first realised my special guardian child was not doing well in school, I felt a mix of worry, guilt, and constant anxiety. I’m a Special Guardian to my little girl, and like many children under special guardianship, school was not a safe or supportive place for her, at least not at first.

When I first stepped into the role of kinship carer, later formalised as a Special Guardian (SGO), I thought I had a fairly realistic idea of what to expect. I mean, I’d done the late-night Googling, skimmed the forums, chatted with a couple of people who have similar experience… so surely I was prepared, right?

Yeah. No. Not quite.

There are moments in life where you stop, look around, and think, How on earth did I end up here? Recently, it was one of those days for me. My little girl has just turned 13, and while birthdays always bring some reflection, this one feels different. A teenager. A whole new chapter. And I can’t help but sit with the memories of how she came into our lives, and what these 13 years have really meant.

As a parent with a Special Guardianship Order (SGO) child, navigating the education system has been a traumatic and overwhelming experience for both myself and my SGO child over the past 7 years. Luckily, we now have an EHCP in place, and she attends a specialist school, thus, things are a much more positive experience for all, and our SGO child is thriving in her new school.

Have you ever wondered how you would react when faced with a sudden and unexpected situation of taking care of a child who is not your own? Life is unpredictable, and sometimes it can really catch us off-guard. Taking on someone else’s child can be a challenging and overwhelming experience, but it can also be a hugely rewarding one. So, what happens when you find yourself in such a situation?