How is an SGO different from adoption?

An SGO does not end the child’s legal ties to their birth family, unlike adoption. It allows a child to stay with someone who can care for them long-term while still maintaining important family connections. This insight is based on my personal experience and is not legal advice.

Who can apply for a Special Guardianship Order?

Typically, relatives or close family friends who have been caring for a child may apply. Local authorities usually consider SGOs when it’s in the child’s best interests for permanence but adoption isn’t suitable. This reflects my lived experience and should not replace professional legal guidance.

What decisions can a special guardian make?

A special guardian generally has parental responsibility for major decisions like schooling, medical care, and day-to-day parenting. Some limits remain, such as changing a child’s surname or taking them abroad for more than three months. This information is based on what I’ve learned personally and is not legal advice.

Will I get support after the SGO is granted?

Local authorities often provide a Special Guardianship Support Plan, which may include advice, practical help, or financial support. My experience shows that seeking help proactively can make a difference, but this is personal advice and not a substitute for legal counsel.

Where can I find more guidance about SGOs?

You can check official sources like [CAFcass](https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/parent-carer-or-family-member/applying-order-gives-you-parental-responsibility/special-guardianship-orders) and your local council for guidance. On my blog, I’ve written about my journey as a special guardian in posts like 'Special Guardian Child Not Doing Well in School' and '10 Things Kinship Carers Need to Hear.' Remember, my reflections are based on lived experience and are not legal advice.

What Is a Special Guardianship Order SGO / Kinship Carer

Special Guardianship SGO

Jan 13

Written By Tanya Hindes

hands reaching to each other with fingers tips nearly touching

What Is a Special Guardianship Order

I remember the moment the phrase Special Guardianship Order was first said to me. It was like someone had handed me a book in a language I’d never learned but was suddenly expected to speak fluently. I had lived through court hearings, adoption chats, kinship care referrals, late‑night Googling, endless forms, and the very real fear of choosing the wrong path for a child I loved with every fibre of my being. At that time, it felt like every instinct I had was whispering and screaming at the same time.

So let’s break this down. Not in legalese. Not in cold bullet points or court jargon. But in the real language of someone who’s lived it and come out the other side.

A Simple Definition

A Special Guardianship Order (SGO) is a court order made under the Children Act 1989 in the UK. In essence, it appoints one or more people to be a child’s special guardian and gives that person parental responsibility until the child reaches the age of 18. It’s a long‑term, legally secure arrangement. It doesn’t end the child’s legal ties with their birth family like adoption does, but it does offer permanence and stability when returning to a birth parent’s home just isn’t in the child’s best interests.

This matters because permanence isn’t just a box on a form. It’s a child knowing who’s at the end of the school run. It’s bedtime stories. It’s belonging in a way that really counts.

The Heart of It: Parental Responsibility

One of the key things I learned early on is that an SGO grants parental responsibility. But it’s not quite the same as a birth parent’s full set of rights and duties. Under an SGO, the special guardian has the final say in most decisions about the child’s upbringing. Things like schooling, medical care, religious upbringing, and everyday parenting choices are yours to make. (Cafcass)

Some limits remain. For example, you typically cannot change the child’s surname or take them out of the country for more than three months without written agreement from everyone with parental responsibility or the court.

I know that sounds dry at first glance. But once you’re in the thick of organising passports, holidays, school transitions, and birthday parties with relatives, you suddenly realise how every detail matters.

It’s Not Adoption. And That’s Okay

One thing that used to worry me was the fear that if we chose an SGO, we were somehow choosing second‑best to adoption. In truth, an SGO is different, not inferior. Adoption legally ends the birth family’s parental responsibility. An SGO doesn’t. And for a lot of children, especially older kids, or those who have important relationships with birth family members, that distinction is huge. They get a stable, secure home while still keeping that link alive where appropriate. (Family Lives)

As a special guardian myself, I know how meaningful it has been for my child to know at a core level where they come from, even while thriving in the safety of our family home.

When SGOs Are Considered

There are a few common scenarios where a Special Guardianship Order might be the right path:

When a child cannot return to live with their birth parents safely.
When adoption isn’t appropriate due to the child’s age, cultural reasons, or because maintaining connections with the birth family is genuinely beneficial.
When a child has lived with a relative or family friend for some time, a permanent, secure arrangement offers the most stability.

In our situation, we weren’t strangers to the child. We were family. And we’d built trust, routines, and safety long before any form was signed. That made the idea of an SGO feel like recognition of what was already happening, not the start of something new.

How It Feels in Real Life

Talking about SGOs in clinical terms only tells part of the story. What doesn’t show up in the official definitions is how much being a special guardian changes your identity. It shifts the terrain of your heart. It changes how you make decisions in the grocery store, at bedtime, during parent‑teacher meetings, and in quiet moments when you’re just trying to be enough.

For me, it came in waves. On tougher days, I felt like I was walking a tightrope between empowering my child and protecting them. On better days, I saw the laughs, the school achievements, the sense of being truly rooted somewhere, and it mattered. It mattered so deeply.

A lot of my posts since then have been about those lived moments. If you’re navigating school challenges, you might find some comfort in Special Guardian Child Not Doing Well in School: What I Did and What Helped. If you’re struggling with identity or healing, you may connect with 10 Things Kinship Carers Need to Hear. And if you’re trying to hold on to your own sense of self while loving fiercely, 10 Things You Learn About Yourself When Becoming a Kinship Carer might feel like the hug you didn’t know you needed.

Support Doesn’t End With the Order

One of the biggest surprises for me was realising that the legal order is just the beginning. Local authorities have a duty to create a special guardianship support plan to set out what ongoing support, including potential financial support, you might be entitled to. This isn’t always straightforward in practice, and it sometimes feels like you have to fight for every piece of help you can get. (Cafcass)

Don’t let that discourage you. Reach out to support groups, family rights organisations, kinship care networks, and your solicitor. Support doesn’t need to arrive perfectly to make a difference.

Final Thoughts From Someone Who’s Been There

If you’re sitting with the question What is a Special Guardianship Order? Because you’re thinking about applying for one, or you’ve just started that process and feel overwhelmed, I see you. It’s a journey of paperwork and heart. It’s decisions and doubt. It’s hope wrapped up with fear.

But it can also be one of the most transformative experiences of your life. For your child and for you.

Permanence doesn’t come from a court order alone. It comes from the daily choices we make to show up. To stay. To hold on. To love.

And that, more than anything, is what a Special Guardianship Order helps protect.

About me

I am a married mother of four children. One of those children is our granddaughter, for whom we are legal guardians and kinship carers. I run a small business, and I love to write, which is how this blog came to be. I write about family life, kinship care, and my experiences living with chronic illness and disability, including ME CFS, spinal stenosis, chronic pain, and fibromyalgia. I am also very aware that I am doing all of this in my mid-forties, which still surprises me some days.

Sgokinship carerkinship

Tanya Hindes https://crackednailsandsplitends.co.uk