What is a Kinship Carer? Understanding Kinship Care, SGO and CAO
It’s when family or friends step in and essentially stop a child from going into the care system with strangers.
Kinship care means familiarity, love, connection and so much more. It is about keeping a child within their family network, with people they already know, trust and feel safe with.
In simple terms, a kinship carer is someone who cares for a child when their birth parents are unable to, and instead of the child entering foster care, they remain within their extended family or close relationships. In the UK, kinship care can include arrangements such as Special Guardianship Orders, Child Arrangements Orders, informal kinship care and connected persons foster care.
Before this became my life, I did not fully understand what kinship care really meant. I had heard the term, but I did not realise just how many different situations it covered, or how much it would reshape everything.
Now, it is not just something I understand. It is something I live every single day.
What is Kinship Care?
Kinship care is an umbrella term used to describe any situation where a child is raised by someone who is not their birth parent, but who already has a relationship with them.
That might be a grandparent, an aunt, an older sibling, or even a close family friend. The key part is that connection already exists. The child is not placed with strangers, but remains within their own network.
When people search for what a kinship carer is, they are often expecting a simple definition. But the reality is layered. Kinship care is not just one pathway. It includes several different legal and informal arrangements, all sitting under the same umbrella.
Types of Kinship Care in the UK
Kinship care in the UK can take several forms, and understanding these can make a huge difference when you are navigating support, expectations and responsibilities.
Special Guardianship Order (SGO)
A Special Guardianship Order gives a carer parental responsibility for a child, allowing them to make long term decisions about their care and upbringing. It provides stability and permanence without full adoption, meaning the child remains legally connected to their birth family.
This is the route we are on.
Child Arrangements Order (CAO)
A Child Arrangements Order sets out where a child lives and who they spend time with. It offers less permanence than a Special Guardianship Order, but still keeps the child within their family network and provides some stability.
For many families, it can be a stepping stone or part of a longer journey.
Informal Kinship Care
Informal kinship care is where a child lives with a relative or friend without a formal legal order in place. It is incredibly common, but often comes with the least support, leaving families to navigate everything on their own.
Kinship or Connected Persons Foster Care
This is when a relative or someone known to the child becomes an approved foster carer. This sits more closely within the fostering system, with additional structure and support.
Other Arrangements
Kinship care can also include private fostering and residential arrangements, depending on the situation.
This is why the term kinship carer can feel so broad. It is not one role. It is many.
Is Kinship Care the Same as Fostering?
This is one of the biggest misconceptions.
Kinship care is not the same as fostering, even though they can overlap.
Fostering is a formal system with training, supervision and financial support. Kinship care, especially under SGO or CAO, often exists in a space where expectations are high but support can be limited.
There is often an assumption that because you are family, you will just manage.
But stepping into kinship care is not just helping out. It is a complete shift in your life, your responsibilities and your identity as a parent.
Our Experience as an SGO Family
We are an SGO family, which means we are kinship carers.
This was not something I planned. Like so many others, it happened because a child needed stability, and walking away was never an option.
There is something deeply grounding about knowing that a child is staying within their family. They grow up with familiarity. They hold onto pieces of their identity that might otherwise be lost.
But that does not mean it is easy.
Kinship care often comes with layers of trauma, adjustment and emotional complexity. You are not starting from a blank page. You are stepping into a story that has already begun, and trying to help shape what comes next.
Parenting Within Kinship Care and Neurodiversity
For many of us, kinship care and neurodiversity go hand in hand.
Parenting a neurodiverse child within a kinship arrangement adds another layer of understanding, advocacy and patience. You are navigating education systems, health services and emotional needs, often all at once.
Some days feel like you are constantly explaining, pushing and trying to be heard.
If this is something you are living too, you might find it helpful to read my post on parenting neurodiverse children within a chronic illness household, where I share more about the day to day realities.
The Challenges of Being a Kinship Carer
There are parts of kinship care that people do not always see.
There can be a lack of financial support, especially under SGO or informal arrangements. There can be limited access to services. There can be an expectation that you will simply cope because you are family.
There is also the emotional side.
You are holding space for a child while also navigating relationships, boundaries and sometimes difficult family dynamics. You are managing your own feelings while supporting theirs.
It can feel isolating at times, especially when your experience does not fit neatly into one box.
If you are currently going through assessments or struggling with support, you may find my post on what happens when SGO support is failing helpful, as I go into more detail about navigating those systems.
Why Kinship Care Matters
Despite the challenges, kinship care matters deeply.
It keeps children connected to their roots, their identity and their sense of belonging. It allows them to grow up surrounded by familiarity, even when life has not gone to plan.
It also shows the strength of families, in all their forms.
Kinship care reshapes what we think of as family. It moves beyond traditional definitions and focuses on what truly matters, consistency, safety and love.
Final Thoughts
Kinship care is not just a definition.
It is stepping in when it matters most. It is choosing stability over uncertainty. It is building something steady for a child who needs it.
It is messy, emotional, exhausting and deeply meaningful all at once.
For me, being a kinship carer means showing up every day, even when it is hard, and creating a space where a child feels safe, seen and held within family.
And that is something no definition can fully capture.
About me
I am a married mother of four children. One of those children is our granddaughter, for whom we are legal guardians and kinship carers. I run a small business, and I love to write, which is how this blog came to be. I write about family life, kinship care, and my experiences living with chronic illness and disability, including ME CFS, spinal stenosis, TMJD, chronic pain, and fibromyalgia. I am also very aware that I am doing all of this in my mid-forties, which still surprises me some days.
You’re not alone here. You’re welcome to stay as long as you need.
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A kinship carer is someone who looks after a child when their parents are unable to, usually a relative or close family friend. Instead of the child going into the care system with strangers, they remain within their own family or trusted relationships.
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Kinship care in the UK is an umbrella term that covers different arrangements where a child is raised by someone they already know. This can include Special Guardianship Orders, Child Arrangements Orders, informal kinship care and connected persons foster care.
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Not exactly. Kinship care involves someone the child already knows, while fostering is usually through approved carers who are not previously known to them. Some kinship carers can become foster carers, but not all do.
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A Special Guardianship Order gives a carer parental responsibility for a child, allowing them to make long term decisions about their care. It offers stability and permanence without full adoption, meaning the child remains legally connected to their birth family.
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A Child Arrangements Order sets out where a child lives and who they spend time with. It provides some stability, but does not offer the same level of permanence as an SGO.
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Support can vary depending on the type of arrangement. Some kinship carers receive financial or practical support, while others, especially those in informal arrangements or under SGO, may find support is limited and harder to access.
