Special Guardian Child Not Doing Well in School: What I Did and What Helped
When I first realised my special guardian child was not doing well in school, I felt a mix of worry, guilt, and constant anxiety. I’m a Special Guardian to my little girl, and like many children under special guardianship, school was not a safe or supportive place for her, at least not at first.
It took years of advocating, pushing, and not giving up, but today she attends a specialist school, has an EHCP, and is thriving. Looking back, I know now that if she had gone into a mainstream secondary school without the right support, it could have caused further trauma.
This is my experience, and what I wish I’d known earlier.
When Your Special Guardian Child Is Not Doing Well in School
For us, the signs were there long before anyone else seemed concerned.
My daughter struggled with:
Learning and concentration
Emotional regulation
Anxiety around school
Feeling “different” and not good enough
At the time, it was often brushed off as:
“She’ll catch up”
“She’s just anxious”
“Lots of children struggle”
But deep down, I knew something wasn’t right.
Children under special guardianship often carry trauma, even if they’re settled and loved. That trauma doesn’t switch off just because they’re now safe, and school can bring it roaring back.
Why Children Under Special Guardianship Can Struggle in School
From my experience, the problem wasn’t ability, it was how her brain had learned to survive early on.
Many special guardian children have experienced:
Loss of parents
Early neglect or instability
Attachment disruptions
Stress during key developmental years
This can affect:
Memory
Focus
Emotional responses
Confidence
In a busy classroom, those struggles become impossible to hide.
Advocating When the School Doesn’t See the Whole Picture
One of the hardest parts was realising that I had to become her advocate, even when it felt uncomfortable.
What I did:
Asked for meetings (a lot of them)
Put concerns in writing
Kept records of everything
Pushed for assessments when progress didn’t come
At times, it felt like I was being “difficult” or taking up too much of their time. But I wasn’t; I was protecting my child. We were lucky, as her primary school were extremely supportive and took actions to show they wanted to help and support my SGO child.
If your special guardian child is not doing well in school, trust your instincts. You know them better than anyone.
Pushing for an EHCP: What Changed Everything
Getting an EHCP didn’t happen quickly or easily for us.
It took:
Persistence
Evidence
Professional reports
Challenged decisions when support wasn’t adequate
And a refusal to accept “no”
I didn’t just rely on meetings and emails.
I studied the law around EHCP’s, spoke to charities for specialist advice, and made sure I understood our rights as a family under special guardianship with Sendco needs. When necessary, I quoted legislation and statutory guidance to ensure my daughter’s needs could not be ignored or quietly pushed to the side.
This wasn’t about being confrontational, it was about making sure the system did what it was legally required to do.
But once the EHCP was in place, everything changed. Suddenly:
Her needs were recognised
Support was tailored to her
Decisions were made with her wellbeing at the centre
The EHCP gave us a voice we hadn’t had before. More than that, it brought reassurance, renewed hope, and a sense of calm after a very long period of uncertainty.
Why a Specialist School Was the Right Choice for My Daughter
One of my biggest fears was sending her into a mainstream secondary school without the right environment.
I truly believe that would have caused:
Overwhelm
Increased anxiety
Emotional shutdown
Further trauma
Her specialist school understands children like her:
Smaller classes
Trauma-informed staff
Emotional support built into the day
Learning at her pace
Now, she is:
Confident
Settled
Engaged in learning
Finally thriving
She’s no longer “behind”, she’s exactly where she needs to be. She’s thriving, growing into a bright, centred, and confident young girl.
What I’d Say to Other Special Guardians Struggling With School
If you’re reading this because your special guardian child is not doing well in school, please hear this:
You are not failing
Your SGO child is not broken
Struggling does not mean incapable
Sometimes the system is slow to catch up to what we already know as carers.
Advocate
Push
Document everything
And don’t let fear of being labelled stop you
The right support can change everything, I’ve seen it with my own child.
Final Thoughts
Special guardianship (SGO Kinship carers) comes with immense responsibility, love, and emotional labour. Navigating education on top of trauma and SEN is exhausting, but it is worth it.
My daughter’s journey has shown me that with the right support, children under special guardianship can thrive.
Sometimes, it just takes someone refusing to give up on them.
