Things You'll Find Me Calling Out To My Dogs

Things You'll Find Me Calling Out to My Dogs

We can all agree that keeping a dog can provide countless hours of happiness and affection. But let’s not overlook the drawbacks, those annoying habits our dogs just can’t seem to shake. How many times have we seen them rolling in something foul or chomping on something they definitely shouldn’t? Just thinking about it makes you want to pull your hair out!

As the proud mother of three hounds, two beagles and a mini dachshund, I know a thing or two about mischievous, stubborn hound behaviour. And yet, I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

So, here are just a few of the things you’ll often hear me calling out to my dogs:

“DO NOT eat that poo!”
Usually shouted from the back doorway. Goodness knows what my neighbours must think.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my dogs; they’re my babies. But some behaviours are downright disgusting. Take, for example, the age-old pastime of eating poop. (I gagged a little just typing that.) My two beagles are terrible for it, so I’ve learned to be quick on the clean-up. Thankfully, my dachshund hasn’t learned this nasty habit from her big sisters yet; so far, she just wrinkles her nose and walks away.

“I will BATH you!”
Usually heard across a muddy field, where my beagles have found something unspeakable (usually fox poo) to roll in. The mere threat of a bath usually stops them, especially Poppy, who hates baths with a passion.

“Don’t walk through that puddle!”
Naturally, they ignore me completely and march straight through it. I don’t mind this one so much; they get such joy from it, and at least they don’t roll in puddles. Small mercies!

“Get out of that bin!”
Kiwi is the worst offender here. She’s got impeccable timing; she’ll dive in just as the bin lid is closing. I’ve invested in a dog-proof bin, but if it’s overfilled and the lid doesn’t close properly, she’s right there, nose first.

“Penny’s got a sock!”
Usually followed by her dashing into the kids’ room, nicking a dirty sock from the floor, and proudly parading it back to her bed. Her favourites? My son’s girlfriend’s work socks, the smellier, the better.

“KIWI, don’t you dare pinch my tea!”
Kiwi is a tea thief. Leave a cup unattended for even a minute and she’s there, lapping it up before I can blink.

“Don’t be such a baby!”
This one’s for Poppy, who shoots upstairs the moment she sees me reach for the ear cleaner. She knows I can’t chase her up there. I have to be cunning, armed with a treat, cornering her gently before she darts away. She has a sixth sense for these things; she only needs to look at me to know what’s coming.

“This way!”
This is what I shout when walking the dogs. Beagles are ruled by their noses and can easily wander off on a scent trail, completely ignoring everything else. So, I shout “This way!” and, eventually, they come trotting back (usually after pretending not to hear me for a bit). I do worry they might run off, so I always keep them close, and they wear GPS Dog Tracker, just in case their noses lead them a little too far on an adventure.

I tell myself that persistence and patience are the keys to success, but anyone who’s ever owned a beagle knows how clever and stubborn they are… and that they simply don’t care.

Still, I knew what I was signing up for when I chose beagles and a dachshund. They make us laugh, they make us crazy, and they fill our home with love. And that makes every muddy pawprint and chewed sock completely worth it.