What does self-care look like for someone with a chronic illness?

Self-care for someone with a chronic illness focuses on self-management rather than pampering. It includes pacing activities, prioritising rest, managing medications, attending medical appointments, and protecting limited energy to reduce flare-ups.

Why is rest considered self-care for chronically ill people?

For chronically ill people, rest is a medical necessity. Rest helps manage pain and fatigue, prevents symptom flare-ups, and supports the body in functioning as well as possible within its limits.

How is pacing different from being lazy?

Pacing is a deliberate strategy used to manage limited energy and avoid worsening symptoms. Unlike laziness, pacing requires planning, self-awareness, and discipline to do what is sustainable long term.

Is cancelling plans part of self-care when you are chronically ill?

Yes, cancelling plans can be an important part of self-care. When symptoms worsen, pushing through can lead to prolonged flare-ups. Cancelling plans helps protect health and prevent further setbacks.

Why are medical appointments and treatments considered self-care?

Medical appointments and treatments are essential parts of self-care for people with chronic illness. Managing medications and attending appointments help control symptoms, maintain stability, and improve overall quality of life.

Why does self-care look different for chronically ill people?

Chronic illness affects daily functioning and energy levels. Self-care must be adapted to manage pain, fatigue, and other symptoms, making rest, pacing, and symptom management essential rather than optional.

Chronic Illness: My self-care is different to your self-care

Chronic Illness

Jan 12

Written By Tanya Hindes

Chronic Illness: My Self-Care is Different to Your Self-Care

As a chronic ill person living with chronic pain, my approach to self-care is significantly different from that of someone without a chronic illness. While self-care is important for everyone, those of us managing conditions like ME/CFS, fibromyalgia, spinal stenosis, or other chronic pain disorders have unique challenges and considerations that shape how we care for ourselves each day.

One of the key differences in self-care for me is the need for pacing. Unlike individuals without chronic illnesses, I cannot simply push through fatigue or pain without consequences. Every task, every activity, and even small daily chores must be weighed carefully against my energy reserves. Pacing is not laziness or indulgence. It is a necessary skill for survival. If I overexert myself, even slightly, it can trigger flare-ups that leave me bedridden for days. For me, self-care is not just about pampering myself. It is about managing energy, anticipating limits, and honouring the signals my body gives me before it becomes too late.

Rest is another cornerstone of my self-care. While taking a nap or curling up on the sofa might seem like a treat to some, for me, it is a medical necessity. Chronic pain and fatigue are not feelings I can simply shake off. They are constant companions that must be managed with intention. This often means cancelling plans, saying no to social obligations, and giving myself permission to stop without guilt. Rest is my form of protection, a way to preserve the little energy I have so that I can function in meaningful ways when I am able.

Medical treatments and therapies form another essential layer of my self-care. Unlike someone without chronic illness, my daily routine may include medications, pain relief gadgets, medical appointments, and other treatments that cannot be skipped. These appointments are not optional luxuries; they are essential for managing my condition and improving my quality of life. Balancing these commitments with the unpredictability of chronic illness can be exhausting. There is a mental load to constantly monitoring symptoms, tracking medications, and coordinating care that many people take for granted. It is a form of self-care that is both practical and necessary.

Emotional self-care is equally critical. Living with chronic pain and fatigue can take a heavy toll on mental health. Anxiety, depression, and frustration can sneak in when symptoms flare or plans fall apart. Self-care for me is not just bubble baths and scented candles. It is mindfulness, blogging, and other practices that help me process my emotions and build resilience. Emotional self-care is learning to be gentle with myself when I cannot do what others take for granted. It is acknowledging the grief of lost abilities while finding ways to live fully within my limitations.

Advocacy and self-education are also central to my self-care. I must be my own advocate in medical settings, educate others about my condition, and stay informed about new research and potential treatments. These efforts can be draining, but they are necessary for navigating a healthcare system that does not always understand the complexities of chronic illness. In many ways, knowing my body and speaking up for my needs is a form of self-care that keeps me empowered and prevents further harm.

For those of us with chronic illness, self-care is self-management. It is about making intentional choices to protect our energy, maintain our health, and preserve our emotional well-being. It is about accepting that our version of self-care looks different from others and that those differences are not deficiencies. They are adaptations that allow us to live our lives as fully as possible despite the challenges we face.

Final Thought

Self-care for a chronic ill person living with chronic pain is a complex and multifaceted process that goes far beyond traditional notions of pampering or relaxation. It involves pacing, prioritising rest, adhering to medical treatments, managing emotional health, and advocating for oneself. It is demanding, exhausting, and sometimes invisible work, but it is essential. By recognising and respecting our unique needs, we can continue to nurture our bodies and minds, maintain independence, and live meaningful lives even in the presence of chronic illness.

About Me

I am a married mother of four children. One of those children, for whom we are legal guardians (SGO)/kinship carers. I run a small business, and I love to write, which is how this blog came to be. I write about family life, kinship care, and my experiences living with chronic illness and disability, including ME CFS, spinal stenosis, chronic pain, and fibromyalgia. I write to share my perspective, raise awareness, and connect with others navigating similar challenges. I am also very aware that I am doing all of this in my mid-forties, which still surprises me some days.

Chronic Illness